Dear Electricity & Gas Providers,
I’m writing to you because I’ve been given your name by a mutual friend / saw your stuff and really loved it. I’m currently looking for someone to heat and light my house, and was wondering if you’d be interested in doing it?
Unfortunately, there is no pay at this time, but it’s a great opportunity to get in on the ground floor as in the future I hope to be heating and lighting ever-bigger houses. It’s also a great chance to showcase your work to the sorts of demi-celebrities I spend much of my life with.
You’d be boiling the tea for Darren Strange who was in Parents on Sky1. You’d be powering the phone calls I make to all sorts of household name comedians, all of whom would be exposed to your work that way. You’d be powering tweets that are occasionally retweeted by Josie Long and Mark Thomas!
While I understand the remuneration might not be quite what you’re hoping for, I hope you’ll be excited by the opportunity to be a part of the incredible project that is my household. It’s going to be huge!
I can also offer you drinks if you’re ever in town, and tickets to an exclusive viewing of the work you do in our house next time you come to check the meter.
I know you’ll be as excited by this as I am!
Thanks,
Nathaniel Tapley
Nathaniel Tapley 
41 comments
Comments feed for this article
July 16, 2013 at 4:04 pm
TrailingHusband
Nice one! Whatever it is I’m paying you for these blog entries, I’m going to have my people double it.
July 19, 2013 at 5:40 pm
That Rob
Do please make sure your people are paying a good price for the adverts you watch as well. And the branded packaging your shopping is wrapped in. You’ll shortly be invoiced for all the websites you’ve ever visited too.
You don’t imagine these companies invest their own time and money raising awareness of their products do you?
July 19, 2013 at 8:20 pm
TrailingHusband
Joking aside, I actually pay to avoid adverts (by upgrading apps, for example) and happily pay less for plain-wrapped generic goods. There’s a difference between choosing to raise your profile in a way that directly gives value to your consumers (through blogging, FB & Twitter for example) and being asked to work for free by a third party that stands to make money from it.
July 16, 2013 at 4:22 pm
Lucy
Ha ha, brilliant 🙂
July 18, 2013 at 10:02 am
Angela
my dad is a great electrician and plumber!
July 18, 2013 at 11:57 am
TrulyJaded
Ace!!
July 18, 2013 at 12:30 pm
Laustin Spayce
Next time I’m asked to work for free, I’ll direct them here. Brilliant!
Related: http://shouldiworkforfree.com/
July 18, 2013 at 2:46 pm
dope
Don’t forget the next time you see Edf in the pub the drinks are on you! 😉
July 18, 2013 at 4:41 pm
Kieran
Brilliant, send it to every local radio station in the UK…if there are any left!
July 18, 2013 at 10:11 pm
Time
Dear Nathaniel,
I read your post with keen interest.This ‘working for free’ lark sounds great!
Apart from setting up my own Limited Company and getting VAT registered to show I’m serious, is there anything else I can do to promote the fact that my skillset comprises being able to live off thin air, and having an impressive ability to tolerate fools gladly?
Of course, I wouldn’t dream of asking you _personally_ whether I could work for you for free, but you seem like the kind of guy that might have some friends that could usefully divert me from paid work and/or having fun in my spare time (of which I have loads, obviously). I’d even consider an internship, should I be lucky enough to get picked!
Please spread the word to all your friends.
And if you see Sid, tell him…
Yours,
Time Rich of Tunbridge Wells
July 19, 2013 at 12:28 am
agogo22
Reblogged this on msamba.
July 19, 2013 at 12:42 am
Nate Thayer
Spot on. I wish I had been as brilliant when the Atlantic, to their considerable regret, asked pretty much exactly this of me for my professional writing services few months ago. I suspect it is unlikely they will do so again #paythewriter
July 19, 2013 at 1:10 am
aerel
I appreciate the sentiment but this line of argument never goes anywhere. Those involved in professions where it’s normal to be asked to do something for free (myself included) need to get a little more creative. Repeating the tired trope of “Well, would you expect [fill in the blank] to work for free?” doesn’t help anything or anyone. Society has different standards for different types of activities. If you really want anything to change, you need to work toward changing those standards.
July 19, 2013 at 6:13 am
Nathaniel Tapley
And that’s what this is. It’s me educating strangers who would email me asking for free work what they are really asking, and why I have no hesitation in refusing.
You’re frankly wrong when you say it doesn’t help anything or anyone. It helps me not to have to write crabby-sounding responses every day.
I’d be interested in what ‘work can be done towards changing the standards’ which doesn’t involve people making it clear that they will not work for strangers for free.
July 19, 2013 at 9:47 am
Jonathan Draper
“I’d be interested in what ‘work can be done towards changing the standards’ which doesn’t involve people making it clear that they will not work for strangers for free.”
Yep, that is, erm, the work that’s required. Agreed. It’s a no brainer.
By the way, this is one of the most supremely brilliant pieces of writing that I’ve ever read in my entire life. I’m a musician.
July 19, 2013 at 2:24 pm
memyselfandkids.com
Love this – too funny. Very well written!
July 19, 2013 at 6:12 pm
lauramakespictures
I’ve seen many work-for-free allegories and this is by far my favourite one! Well done!
July 21, 2013 at 2:45 pm
Andy
FUCKING BRILLIANT!!
July 21, 2013 at 2:46 pm
atw9
ABSOLUTELY FUCKING BRILLIANT!
July 22, 2013 at 7:45 pm
Matt Goldsmith
As a freelancer with a talent and bills to pay… I approve of this message!
July 22, 2013 at 10:08 pm
Ruth E. Thaler-Carter
Well-done you. And, by the way, aerel, it isn’t the norm for freelance writers not to be paid. We’re freelance, not free. No matter how many people fall for the “write for exposure” nonsense, professional writers can and should say no to most of those “opportunities.” It might take a little more effort to find gigs that pay, and pay well, but it’s doable.
July 23, 2013 at 5:49 am
TheMaven
Are there hi-res photos of the tea?
July 23, 2013 at 5:10 pm
redfish_123
This is just too fantastic. I am approached in a very similar fashion as an artist…yes. It is a continuous struggle to gently educate folks as to why they should pay me. Sometimes, if I am helping kids or friends who are in a similar situation financially, I will chose to donate my time with the explanation of what my time is worth. I also charge a symbolic cup of coffee for my time as well. I have benefited from those who gave there time so there are opportunities to pass it on…it is when I am approached as the Artist work for Free” that puts my back up. Love what you wrote. Thank you.
July 29, 2013 at 4:11 pm
Off The Wire: News for the Canadian media freelancer July 23-29
[…] Of Course I’d Love To Work For Free [Nathaniel Tapley] (via @LuigiBenetton) […]
August 5, 2013 at 1:03 am
uptill4
I blogged about just this yesterday. Now I wish I’d written this!
August 5, 2013 at 9:28 am
Dave
So that’s why I’m now an out of business photographer 🙂
August 5, 2013 at 4:56 pm
bowerbird
so, did the electricity and gas companies reply?
and will they be providing their services for free?
no?
well, the nerve of them. so, did you get some
other electricity and gas company to step in and
take their place?
no?
so, you’re sitting there, cold and hungry in the dark?
hmm…
-bowerbird
August 5, 2013 at 11:10 pm
Barry
Me? I do two pro bono gigs each year but that giving free stuff to a corporation so they can make money off my work? Hell no!
The real question is, why do they keep asking?
August 5, 2013 at 11:14 pm
Nathaniel Tapley
Just to be clear there are a number of occasions on which I’m happy to work for free – for charity, on spec, when it’s a profit share project with people I respect and like working with. None of these situations begins with me answering an email from a stranger who’s got a great idea for a business.
August 6, 2013 at 10:36 am
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August 7, 2013 at 1:44 pm
John Brooke
I take a similar sarcastic tone when an employer has thanked me for the umpteenth time for good work. I appreciate the thank you’s but what I’d really appreciate is more money in the form of a raise. I joke that my landlord doesn’t accept thank you’s in lieu of rent. The nerve! Oh…by the way…thanks for your hard work! 😉
August 7, 2013 at 4:25 pm
Julie
HA! Or maybe you just caught me on a good day. When no one marketed me. 😉
August 8, 2013 at 11:42 pm
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August 15, 2013 at 2:06 pm
Paul Davey
I turn the tables on the client: “If you wish to evaluate my services and the quality of my work, please visit my website and have a look at the various portfolios. Should you wish to trial me on a brief, you will be expected to pay my full rates and if, as you intimated, this leads to more work in the future, I will happily consider a discount linked to the volume and regularity of work and your adherence to my payment terms.”
August 23, 2013 at 1:05 am
Nathaniel Tapley
That is brilliant.
August 15, 2013 at 2:20 pm
Bil Gaines
I love this. Kind of a lot. Okay, a lot a lot.
August 15, 2013 at 3:45 pm
Nathaniel Tapley
Thank you!
September 22, 2013 at 7:22 pm
Colette B
Awesome post.
October 4, 2013 at 2:04 am
Denson Baker
I may be a freelancer but I won’t lance for free.
December 19, 2013 at 5:04 pm
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February 17, 2014 at 5:14 pm
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[…] Nathaniel Tapley is an award-winning comedy writer-performer. You can check out more of his witty writing here, and follow him on facebook here. This post was originally posted here. […]