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A Picture of a eBook

Image via Wikipedia

Books. I’ve been in love with books forever. I’ve got thousands of them stacked all over the house. Just the word ‘book’ looks like a comfy, cosy bed, into which one could sink with a good, long book. Books…

I’ve wanted to write books for as long as I can remember. Not only that, I have written them, from ‘The Adventures Of The T Family’ in 1985 (in which the family’s mother foils a robbery in a toy shop by beating a burglar with her handbag, and which, incidentally, passes the Bechdel test) to the series of ‘comic’ novels I wrote in my early 20s and that no one will ever see. Because they are awful enough to shatter the enamel on your teeth.

I’ve writen for newspapers, radio, the television, the internet, but not books. I even got one of my manuscripts bound so it could sit on a bookcase with my name on the spine like a book, but I’ve never ritten anything that’s actually in a proper book. Until now.

True, when I visualised stroking the glossy covers of my masterpieces, they rarely had light-blue, undead revenants on the cover, turning to advce on the reader with a terrible, merciless glint in their eyes. But that’s because I didn’t know that what I wrote was going to be in The Zombie Feed: Volume 1, a new anthology from Jason Sizemore.

And now I get to march in the grand parade of self-promotion for yet another reason. I now won’t just be hassling you to come to shows, or watch TV at a certain time in morning, or listen to podcasts, but to actually buy books.

Like the e-book version which you can get if you can’t wait for the book itself to be published. Yes, within seconds of reading this your e-reader of choice could be throbbing with 17 new short stories about zombies. One of which will be by me. And, if you get it from Amazon, it’s £2.14 for your Kindle (or Kindle-enabled device. Your kinda Kindle). That’s not even the price of a soft drink in most London hostelries.

And I’ll get royalties! Perhaps. I haven’t checked the contract for e-book sales. But I might. And that’s something.

So this year I can tick off Radio 4 and books. Pretty much all that’s left now is comics. And films. And grownup TV. And the West End. And a musical. And… oh poo.

Buy! Buy! Buy! And then buy a ticket to my show in Brighton!

Previous logo of BBC Radio 4 until 2007

Image via Wikipedia

I have been dreadful at letting people know what I’ve been up to recently, so here’s something of an update:

1) Dick & Dom’s Funny Business: Many of you will have seen me being Gary the Useless Lion last week (for those who missed it, the iPlayer link is here). I’m recording another episode this week, so there will be more Gary on your screens in the very near future…

2) The News Quiz: This week, I’m writing additional material for The News Quiz. It will be on at 6:30, Friday, BBC Radio 4. It would be delightful if you could listen…

3) Short Story: The table of contents has been announced for the anthology which will contain my first short story to be published in an actual book. Those of you who are aware of my erudite wit, and waspish, allusive prose style will be unsurprised to learn that the book is called: The Zombie Feed Vol. 1 and will be published later this year…

I shall blog about all of these things when I have more strength / booze. Nanight.

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