You are currently browsing the tag archive for the ‘christmas 2013’ tag.

On the train the other day I was opposite a creature in thick glasses, who was talking to one of his friends in advertising about accounts he hadn’t landed. And how those accounts were ‘twats’.

When he got off, he left this behind him.

If you’re feeling like this year’s John Lewis ad could have done more to tug your heart strings, here you go:


Tinsel. Glitter. Wads of wrapping paper.

Sticky tape tuck to little fingers. Popcorn being strung. Glue spilled across a dining room table.

On the soundtrack: a slow, piano, 6/8 adaptation of a popular song. Perhaps “I Like To Move It Move It”, sung by a breathy contralto with a waver in her voice.

A dining room decorated with lots of pictures of family and pets.

Two children (4 and 6) sit at the table, making things. They are gluing, getting things stuck to their fingers, putting sticky stars on their eyelids, drawing, writing, arguing over the glitter pens. Both are deeply engrossed in construction.

From the kitchen a mother gazes on, smiling. Think Sarah Lund crossed with Linda Bellingham.

She looks out of the kitchen window, where:-


A light frost has fallen. At the far end of the garden stand a little row of crosses. In front of each is a dilapidated tinsel ornament, obviously made by children.

Along the row, the names have been scrawled on the ornaments: Fluffy, Spike, Hammy, Peter The Fish.


The mother looks back at the children, who are now finishing up. She looks across at a picture of the family: father, mother, children. In the corner is a cat.

She wipes a tear from her eye.


The children are pulling on duffel coats, and getting into their wellies. The boy, younger, falls over, as he tries to get his foot in.


The children place their new ornament on some freshly dug earth.

We pull back to reveal that we are in a:


And they are standing in front of a gravestone.

The little girl pulls at her brother’s hand, and they all walk away with the mother.

On the ornament is a sign saying: “Daddy”

CAPTION: Merry Christmas from John Lewis

Now, who wants to help me make this? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

Subscribe with RSS

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 13,765 other followers

Twitter Feed

  • RT @date_fight: Sundays, eh? Time was it was all sleeping whatever it was off, the EastEnders omnibus with endless tea, stumbling to the pu… 18 hours ago
  • RT @jakeyapp: Omg so I just heard this week's @date_fight voting results from @Natt and they're WILD. Find out the results in tomorrow's po… 1 day ago
  • Daughter got a Polaroid camera for Christmas. Now we all live back in the 90s... 1 day ago
  • RT @MhairiMcF: I just feel Question Time could serve more useful purposes than demonstrating why Billie Piper got divorced 1 day ago
  • RT @babiryebukilwa: I did a play last year in a very prestigious theatre and the N word was said in a room where I was THE ONLY person of c… 1 day ago